If you haven’t already heard, actor Michael Douglas announced his current battle with throat cancer during his appearance on The David Letterman Show this past Tuesday.
Douglas is battling the same type of cancer that I’ve been battling for the past few months. His optimistic outlook during this difficult challenge has inspired me to post the article below.
I know that your kind words and support, combined with my positivity is a significant reason why, today, I’m cancer free. I hope you enjoy the article.
Overcoming Adversity
Here’s
a question for you: What are you made of? What are you really made of? When
push comes to shove, when the rubber meets the road, when the chips are down,
what lies at the very core of your character?
You
learn what you’re really made of only when things go wrong and you are tumbled,
end over end, by some adversity or setback that hits you like a Mack truck
coming out of an alley. Since your behaviors on the outside are the real
indicators of who you are on the inside, only by observing how you behave when
things go wrong can you tell what you really have inside you.
Let’s
make one thing clear at the beginning. Life is a continuous succession of both
small and large problems. They never end. No sooner do you get control of one
situation when you are hit by another. Life is a process of “two steps forward
and one step back.” When you become a great success, you simply exchange one
type of problem for another. Before, you had small problems with limited
consequences; now you have large problems with enormous consequences. No matter
how smart and clever and careful you are, you’ll face life struggles, challenges, difficulties,
and sometimes heartbreaking adversities every day, week and month of your life.
And
thank heaven for that! You couldn’t possibly have become the person you are
today if you had not had to contend with adversity on your way up. Perhaps your
chief aim in life is to develop a noble character, to become an excellent human
being, to become everything you are capable of becoming. Only by contending
with hard times that
seem to be beyond your strength to handle at the moment can you grow more
surely toward the stars.
The
starting point in dealing with any difficulty is simply to relax. Clear your
mind. Get yourself into a state where you’re calm and cool and in full control
of your emotions and senses. Back off mentally, and become as objective as
possible. Step back and look at the problem with a certain amount of
detachment, as if it were happening to someone else. When you can analyze your
adversities clearly, you sometimes see opportunities to turn them to your best
advantage.
One
of the rules in dealing with adversity in life is that you are only as free as
your well-developed alternatives. You are only as free as the options you have.
Only when you can switch and do something else can you be flexible in dealing
with your current situation. If you have not developed an option or an
alternative, you will become anxious and even panicky when you are threatened
with a sudden loss or reversal in a particular area of your life.
We
can avoid tragedy on that scale by following a four-step method for dealing
with any adversity. Dale Carnegie wrote about it more than 50 years ago, and
it’s still one of the most powerful mental tools that anyone can use when
confronted with problems or worries of any kind.
Step One
Define
the problem clearly. What exactly is the problem? What exactly are you worrying
about? Write out the definition of your problem. Make sure that it’s a single
problem. If it’s more than one problem, write out clear definitions of all the
problems that together constitute what you are worrying about right now.
Step Two
Determine
the worst possible outcome. Ask, “What’s the worst possible thing that can
happen in this situation?” Be frank and honest with yourself. You might lose
your money, or your relationship, or your customer, or someone or something
else that is really important to you. If everything fell apart, what is the
worst thing that could occur?
Step Three
Resolve
to accept the worst, should it occur. Having identified the worst possible
outcome, you now can go through the mental exercise of accepting that it is
going to happen, no matter what you do. The remarkable thing is that as soon as
you stop resisting the worst possible outcome, you’ll relax, your mind will
clear, and your ability to deal with the situation will improve dramatically.
Step Four
Begin
immediately to improve upon the worst, which you have already accepted is going
to happen. Throw all of your mental resources into the battle to minimize the
problem or resolve the difficulty. Concentrate on the future. Don’t worry about
what happened, why it happened and who was responsible. Think only about the
question, “What do I do now?” How can you minimize the consequences? What’s the
first step you can take? And the second step? And the third step? And so on.
Successful
people are not people without life problems. They are people who respond
quickly and positively to their problems. They think them through in advance;
they anticipate them. And when they can’t, they use the four-step method to
resolve whatever difficulty they face. They define the problem clearly. They
define the worst possible thing that could happen as a result of the problem.
They resolve to accept the worst, should it occur. And then they concentrate
all of their energies on making sure that the very worst doesn’t happen.
In
dealing with adversity effectively, your ability to ask questions is essential.
As long as you are asking questions, you are expanding the range of options and
possibilities that are open to you. As long as you are asking questions, you
are keeping your mind calm and cool and objective. You are not allowing
yourself to get caught up emotionally, thereby shutting down large parts of
your brain and your creative powers.
Many
problems and adversities arise because of misunderstandings and incorrect
information. One of the smartest things you’ll ever do in facing any adversity
is to ask yourself, “Who else may have had this problem, and what did he do?”
Ask around. Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re in a bind. If you made a
mistake, or dropped the ball and found yourself in a difficult situation, don’t
be afraid to go to someone and admit that you need help. You’ll be amazed at the
valuable advice that you can get from someone who has already experienced the
difficulty that you’re going through.
In
dealing with adversity, perhaps one of the most important positive affirmations you can
remember is this: “This, too, shall pass.” Whatever it is, however difficult it
may appear, say to yourself, “This, too, shall pass.”
One
of your main jobs in life is to become an expert in dealing with adversity, to
triumph over difficulty, to rise above the challenges of day-to-day life. Keep
your thoughts on where you’re going, not on where you’ve been. Keep your eyes
on your goals, and keep your chin tilted upward toward the sunshine. Resolve in
advance that you will meet and overcome every difficulty, and then, no matter
what happens, don’t give up until you do.
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