What
if you could take stress and turn it into success. Wouldn’t that be a better
way to use your energy? Sometimes a simple shift in the way we direct our
energy and focus can radically alter the way we experience life.
Often
times, we don’t really need more time and energy. We just need to shift the way
we are using what we already have. Let’s look at three specific ways that we
can create such a shift.
Accept the fact that some things can’t be changed
We can’t change the
past, period. Worrying about it will only create stress. One of the best things you can do for yourself is
accept that fact. Everything that has happened in your life up to this point is
history, it’s completely unchangeable. One of the biggest ways to waste your
time and energy is to fret over the past; it’s gone so let it go.
Looking
back at missed opportunities won’t recreate them. Feeling guilty over past mistakes doesn’t serve you.
Harboring any kind of negative energy toward yourself or
others over things that have already happened will only leave you feeling
drained and frustrated. It is a complete waste of vital force to hang on to any
negative emotional anchors from the past.
Action step: Make
a list of any past events, situations, relationships, or mistakes that you feel
bad about. Write them all down along with the negative feelings attached to
them. When you are done, read each item and then ask yourself: “What do I need
to do to get closure here?” If you need to apologize to someone, go do it. Most
of the time all you need for closure is to let it go.
Once
you’ve answered that question for each item, tear the list up and throw it, and
those negative feelings, away. It’s trash and that’s where you should put it.
The next time you are tempted to revisit those feelings or events, tell
yourself “no emotional dumpster diving.”
Accept the fact that some things can always be changed
One thing that you can
always change is your perception of, and reaction to, everything that happens
in your life. It’s your life, you own it and that means that you have the power
and the freedom to decide the meaning and value of every experience.
Many
people are so locked into reaction mode that they fail to recognize their own
ability to control their response. This mindset is a huge source of stress. Nobody makes us mad or
happy, we choose those feelings. When we decide to exercise the ability to
choose our emotional response, we tap into a huge source of personal power. We
are not victims of our circumstances unless we choose to be.
Action Step:
The next time you feel like “reacting” instead of responding, ask yourself:
“What else could this mean?” Then come up with three alternate meanings and
choose the one that feels the most empowering. Now respond to that. Doing this
will transform a stressful reaction into a successful response.
Don’t let other people’s problems become your problems
Some people are just a
disaster looking for a place to happen. One way to avoid getting stressed out
along with them is to simply get out of their way. If someone is in a bad mood,
do your best to stay away from them. If the driver behind you is tailgating,
pull over and let them pass. It’s their problem, but taking it personally will
make it your problem too.
If
you go out to eat and there are loud, obnoxious people next to you, change
tables. If someone tries to vent their anger at you, excuse yourself without
taking personal offense. By staying alert to potentially dangerous
situations you will be able to avoid them most of the time. You can’t
control the way other people behave, but you can control whether or not you
allow their problems to become your problems.
Action step:
Review the most common scenarios where you have allowed other people to stress
you out. Now devise an alternate strategy that you can use the next time that
situation arises. Make sure it is a strategy that allows you to remain emotionally neutral. Rehearse that
strategy in your mind so you can easily implement it next time.
Choose success over stress
As you can see, we all
have opportunities to redirect our
personal resources toward success and away from stress. Isn’t it great that we
each have the power to choose where our energy will go and how it will be used?
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