Know
this: Hard work alone won't get you there.
Success
is a subjective notion, if there ever was one. But for simplicity's sake, let's
assume the higher you are on Maslow's hierarchy of needs,
the better you're doing. In case you don't remember the levels from Psych 101,
essentially, people can't be their best possible selves (self-actualization)
until lower-level needs are met first. In other words, you can't be an ideal
version of yourself if you don't have enough food and money to pay the
bills, or enough love and esteem to feel good about your
value as a human being. So, what can you do to move yourself up the pyramid?
Check out the findings from several studies,
which shine a light on what it takes to achieve more in life.
1.Increase your confidence by taking action.
Katty
Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of The Confidence Code, wrote a stellar
article for The Atlantic on
this subject. Highlighting scads of studies that have found that a wide
confidence gap exists between the sexes, they point out that success is just as
dependent on confidence as it is on competence. Their conclusion? Low
confidence results in inaction. "[T]aking action bolsters one's belief in
one's ability to succeed," they write. "So confidence
accumulates--through hard work, through success, and even through
failure."
2.Broaden your definition of authenticity.
Authenticity
is a much sought-after leadership trait, with the prevailing idea being that
the best leaders are those who self-disclose, are true to themselves, and who
make decisions based on their values. Yet in a recent Harvard Business
Review article titled "The Authenticity
Paradox," Insead professor Herminia Ibarra discusses
interesting research on the subject and tells the cautionary tale of a newly
promoted general manager who admitted to subordinates that she felt scared in
her expanded role, asking them to help her succeed. "Her candor
backfired," Ibarra writes. "She lost credibility with people who
wanted and needed a confident leader to take charge." So know this:
Play-acting to emulate the qualities of successful leaders doesn't make you a
fake. It merely means you're a work in progress.
3.Improve your social skills.
According
to research conducted
by University of California Santa Barbara economist Catherine Weinberger, the
most successful business people excel in both cognitive ability and social
skills, something that hasn't always been true. She crunched data linking
adolescent skills in 1972 and 1992 with adult outcomes, and found that in 1980,
having both skills didn't correlate with better success, whereas today the
combination does. "The people who are both smart and socially adept earn
more in today's work force than similarly endowed workers in 1980," she
says.
4.Train yourself to delay gratification.
The
classic Marshmallow
Experiment of 1972 involved placing a marshmallow in front of a
young child, with the promise of a second marshmallow if he or she could
refrain from eating the squishy blob while a researcher stepped out of the room
for 15 minutes. Follow-up studies over the next 40 years found that the
children who were able to resist the temptation to eat the marshmallow grew up
to be people with better social skills, higher test scores, and lower incidence
of substance abuse. They also turned out to be less obese and better able to
deal with stress. But how to improve your ability to delay things like eating
junk food when healthy alternatives aren't available, or to remain on the
treadmill when you'd rather just stop?
Writer
James Clear suggests starting small, choosing one thing to improve
incrementally every day, and committing to not pushing off things that take
less than two minutes to do, such as washing the dishes after a meal or eating
a piece of fruit to work toward the goal of eating healthier. Committing to
doing something every single day works too. "Top performers in every field--athletes,
musicians, CEOs, artists--they are all more consistent than their peers,"
he writes.
"They show up and deliver day after day while everyone else gets bogged
down with the urgencies of daily life and fights a constant battle between
procrastination and motivation."
5.Demonstrate passion and perseverance for
long-term goals.
Psychologist
Angela Duckworth has spent years studying kids and adults, and found that one
characteristic is a significant predictor of success: grit. "Grit is
having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just
for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to
make that future a reality," she said in a TED talk on
the subject. "Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a
sprint."
6.Embrace a "growth mindset."
According
to research conducted by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, how people view
their personality affects their capacity for happiness and success. Those with
a "fixed mindset" believe things like character, intelligence, and
creativity are unchangeable, and avoiding failure is a way of proving skill and
smarts. People with a "growth mindset," however, see failure as a way
to grow and therefore embrace challenges, persevere
against setbacks, learn from criticism, and reach higher levels of achievement.
"Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that
anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven?
No, but they believe that a person's true potential is unknown (and
unknowable); that it's impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with
years of passion, toil, and training," she writes.
7.Invest in your relationships.
After
following the lives of 268 Harvard undergraduate males from the classes of 1938
to 1940 for decades, psychiatrist George Vaillant concluded something you
probably already know: Love is the key to happiness. Even if a man succeeded in
work, amassed piles of money, and experienced good
health, without loving relationships he wouldn't be happy, Vaillant found. The
longitudinal study showed
happiness depends on two things: "One is love," he wrote.
"The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love
away."
Give your comments, opinion and recommendation if any.
Lusako
Mwakiluma
Motivational
& Inspirational Speaker
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