“The best day of your life is the one on which you
decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely
on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are
responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
-
Bob Moawad
One
of my stated aims here at HLS is to have others join me on this journey to
change the voices in our heads, let go of perfectionism
and find our own true path. With all my heart I believe this is at the core of
finding happiness and being at peace with who we are. We must change our
mindset and get rid of the negative self-talk.
What are these voices in our heads?
We’re not crazy, but most of us hear
voices – sometimes all day long. How could you make that stupid mistake? Why
didn’t you say something smarter to that woman? I should already be done with
that. I will never get where I want to go. I hope they like me? Why wasn’t I
invited? I hate the way my body looks. I wish I had more …!
Don’t
listen to those voices!
They
do not speak the whole truth. Think about whether they speak your
truth.
Life is a journey made up of tens of thousands of days.
Each one of those days is an opportunity
for us to start again. I truly believe we need to accept that the journey
runs over a windy road, full of hills and descents. It is the feeling that the
road should be straight and paved smooth that brings about so much frustration.
Do
you really know anyone who gets everything they want immediately, with no hard
work and no knock backs in life?
Let
yourself off the hook and focus on what is important to you.
1. Focus on and appreciate
today.
Staying in the moment is the hardest
battle for many of us. If you suffer from anxiety, like I do, then you know
that it comes from worrying about what might happen and ruminating over the
results of what has already happened. Either way you are focused on the past or
the future. Shift that focus to the present – and you can take it even further
and shift your focus to just this
moment – what do you need or want to be doing?
2. Remember that you do not
need to have it all figured out.
Just like our children are
learning new things every day - so are we. You may think you have been
through it twenty times and “should” already get it. There is no “should” about
it. You may get it one day or you may need to dump whatever “it” is. We are
evolving every day. Some of our goals will change as we change. Let them go.
Keep learning and growing and be grateful that you are still able to do
so. Don’t wait for the future and deal with regrets – it is never too late to
change your mind and change direction.
3. Stop and see what
connections you are making.
By connections I mean everything from
interactions with other people to revelations that appear as you go through
your days. Have you made it to the end of the day just powering through and
never stopping to spend time with those that are important to you? Do
you ever reflect on your experiences and see what you could change to make it
better for you?
4. Decide for yourself what
is important.
To make your life truly your own it
needs to be on your terms, reflecting your values, and allow you to feel at
peace. When you feel resistance stop and ask yourself “why am I doing this?” If
the answer includes reference to someone else, a commitment you made or a
“should”, reconsider what you are struggling with.
5. Give yourself credit for
the steps you take along the way.
Don’t wait for the day you reach your
goal to feel good about yourself and your actions. Some goals take a long time
to reach. Break them down into smaller, achievable mini goals and celebrate
your positive steps.
If
you are trying to lose 40 pounds you may have weeks you don’t lose weight or
even gain weight. This does not take away the achievement of even one single
pound you have lost! Focus on the progress you have made – you earned it!
If
you want to simplify your life and get organised do not attempt it in a weekend
and beat yourself up for “failing” to achieve this goal. Make a plan and go
slow. When you make a change (declutter
a closet, stop bringing junk into your home, etc) sit with it for a while
and maintain this new way. A small change that you stick with is better than an
overhaul that is temporary.
Are
you on the right path for you? Is there something you have been wanting to do,
but something is holding you back? I would love to hear about it.
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