“Proven
ways” refers to generalized results suggested by these studies and until you
try each one out for yourself, it remains unproven for you as an individual.
So
why not try a few and see for yourself which really lead to a happy life?
1. Believe in something
Some studies suggest
that religious people are
more than twice as likely as the secular to say they were “very happy”.
While this in itself is not a reason to hastily adopt a religion, we may do
well to believe in something. Have you ever met a happy skeptic?
Are you bored
with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your
heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had
thought could never be yours.”
- Dale Carnegie
2. Embrace silence
Almost every person
I’ve met who is living a happy life has cited “personal retreats”, “quiet time”,
“me time” or some equivalent as an essential contribution to their happiness.
Neuroscience professor Richard Davidson measured the brain activity of Buddhist
monks and showed that meditation actually
altered the physical state of the brain in a way that made them feel
happier.
“A happy life
must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of
quiet that true joy dare live.”
- Bertrand
Russell
3. Work on your own terms
In a recent study, those
who work at their own business were much happier than even those in highly-paid
professions. Having control over what we do, how we allocate our time, and
choosing to do what we enjoy – these go a long way toward living a happy life.
You don’t necessarily have to quit your job though – for example you could
negotiate your terms of work so that you’re effectively working the way you
want to.
“Drive your
business; let not that drive thee.”
- Benjamin Franklin
4. Find your “flow” experience
The concept of “flow”
as described by Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi came from his observation
that people with happy lives tend to engage in activities which required both a
high level of challenge and a high level of skill. High challenge with low
skill caused anxiety, while low challenge with high skill brought boredom.
(Watching TV, interestingly, is low challenge with low skill and leads to
apathy.) Whether your “flow” activity is dancing, painting, or water-skiiing,
do it often!
“Live life as a work of art, rather
than as a chaotic response to external events.”
- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
5. Have something to look forward to
Viktor Frankl’s famous
book Man’s
Search for Meaning showed the world how having something to look forward to
helped him survive extreme conditions of torture and deprivation. Recent
research by neuroscientist Brian Knutson using MRI to measure brain activity
suggests that even on a normal day-to-day basis, anticipation
is a big part of a happy life.
“He who has a why to live can bear
almost any how.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
6. Hang out with friends
Friendship
seems to have a much greater effect on how happy our life is than a typical
person’s income. Economist
Professor Oswald estimated that a person needs £50,000 to make up for not
having friends. It is even thought that friendship can ward off germs by
activating the part of the brain that controls disease. No wonder we reach for
the phone to call a friend when we’re feeling blue.
“Life is partly what we make it, and
partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
- Tennessee Williams
7. Just carry on living
Happiness seems to
follow a U-shaped
life cycle: it’s highest at the beginning and end of our lives, and lowest
in the middle. So if you’re feeling blue now, you may be at the bottom of the
U; if you just wait a few years, you may find yourself having a happy life
again!
“At my age I do what Mark Twain did.
I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there I carry
on as usual.”
- Patrick Moore
Personal footnote
At the moment a big
part of my own happy life is the flow
experience I get while dancing. The bonus is that you have to
dance with people so there’s the friendship
element that is taking place as well. Plus the weekly socials give me something to look
forward to.
So
apart from the empirical studies, I can personally attest that some of these
methods really do work. Which is partly why I’m blogging less now – I have a happy
life to keep me occupied! And I wish the same for all of you reading this.
There
has been a lot of research into how to live a happy life, and these are just
some findings I came across.
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