"TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO"

Guidelines for looking at problems in the proper perspective:
Thoughts cause feelings, and the wrong kinds of thoughts can cause stressful feelings. We can look at the same event different ways. One is in the optimistic way and the other is pessimistically. It is the age old debate of whether to look at the glass as half full or as half empty.

It helps if you can learn to look at the good things in life rather than the ugly. For example, if you got into a car accident and totaled your car, you can sit there and feel sorry for yourself, or angry for losing the car. These are all self-defeating. On the other hand, you can thank God that you were not killed or, worse yet, maimed in the car accidents. When you look at life's events like that you will have something to smile at every event and that is the power of positive living.

Robert Schuller, the author of "Tough times never last. Tough people do!" gives the following guidelines in looking at problems in the proper perspective:

* Every Living Human Being Has Problems.
Guidelines for looking at problems in the proper perspective:

1. Perhaps you are unhappy with your work. Isn't it good that
you have a job rather than being unemployed? Many people have the mistaken notion that successful people do not have any problems. It is not true. Success tends to breed its own set of problems.

2. Everyone has problems. A problem-free life is an illusion - a mirage in the desert. Accept the fact that everyone has problems. This will help you to move on with your life rather than sitting and feeling pity for yourself.

* Every Problem Has A Limited Life Span
1. Every mountain has a peak and every valley has a low point. Similarly, life has its ups and downs. No one is up all the time or down all the time.

2. Problems do get resolved in the long term. They don't last forever. History teaches that every problem has a limited life span.

3. Your problems will not live forever; but you will! Storms are followed by sunshine. Winter is followed by spring. Your problems will get resolved given enough time.


* Every Problem Holds Positive Possibilities
1. There are two sides to every coin. What may be a problem for one could be interesting opportunity to someone else.
2. Hospitals are there because people get sick; garages are there because cars do break down;l lawyers are there because people get in trouble with the law occasionally. Every cloud has a silver lining.


* Every Problem Will Change You
1. When me meet problems head on in life, they leave their indelible mark on us. The experience could make you better or worse. It is up to you. What is certain is that problems never leave us the same way they found us. We will change.
2. For example, let us say that you lost your job. You can sit and feel sorry for yourself. Or you can be aggressive and decide to do something about it. You are better than them. You want to show them what a mistake they did in firing you.
3. You have to be fired before you can be fired up. That may be wake-up call you needed before embarking on a successful mission. Again, for every problem, there is a positive and negative side. Look for the positive side and work on it.

* You Can Choose What Your Problem Will Do To You
1. You may not be able to control the problems, but you certainly can control your reaction or response to the problem.
2. You can turn your pain into profanity or into poetry. The choice is up to you. You can control the reaction even if you cannot control the problem. You control the effect of the problem by controlling the reaction.
3. It can make you tough or tender. It can make you better or bitter. It all depends on you.

* There Is A Negative And A Positive Reaction To Every Problem
1. Tough people have learned to choose the most positive reaction in managing problems. The key is that they manage their problems.

2. Remember, we have little control on problems, we have control on how we react and manage the problem. Positive people chose to react positively to their predicaments. examples:

3. Do you automatically interpret silence on the part of your spouse to mean anger when it could just as easily mean fatigue?

4. Do you blame yourself when a sudden downpour drenches your wash on the line?

5. Do you dwell on the few times your boss criticized your performance and ignore the innumerable times s/he's praised you?

*We all fall into the negative thinking rut from time to time. We badger ourselves with "should haves" and lose sight of the fact that "good" and "bad" in life is rarely black and white.

All-or-nothing thinking can lead to anxiety, depression, feelings of inferiority, perfectionism and anger. We are our worst enemies. We tend to put a higher standard for us compared to others. We tend to criticize ourselves for our miscues rather than being happy for the accomplishments. Allow yourself to fail now and then. It's all part of being human.

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS: A KEY TO HIGH PERFORMANCE LEADERSHIP

Lessons from the father of a murder victim

By Professor George Kohlrieser -

Imagine what your life would be like if someone murdered one of your immediate family members. What if it was your son or daughter? Think about the anger and bitterness you would feel towards that person. Surely it would consume both your personal and professional life. Would you ever be able to move on?

Hopefully, none of you reading this have endured such a tragedy. But surely all of us have dealt with profound feelings of betrayal, injustice and loss of an important expectation whether on the job or at home. Do you let such occurrences consume you or hold you hostage? Or are you able to go through the recovery and grieving process so that you defeat and overcome the adversity as quickly as possible, not vice versa? No person better personifies this than Azim Khamisa, a former investment banker who tragically lost his only son to gang violence. His story epitomizes how one can learn to forgive and to ultimately find peace again in all areas of life.

Azim Khamisa’s story

On January 21, 1995, Azim Khamisa’s 20-year old son Tariq was shot and killed by four youth gang members. Fourteen year old Tony Hicks pointed a gun and with a single shot took the life of Tariq Khamisa because he had refused to deliver a pizza without first being paid. It was a long process, but ultimately Azim Khamisa chose not seek revenge over the loss of his son. Instead Azim chose forgiveness and peace. “I took a different response to this tragedy,” stated Azim to an audience of participants during IMD’s High Performance Leadership program. “I saw Tariq was a victim of the 14 year old, and I saw the 14 year old as a victim of society. Both were victims at opposite ends of a gun.”

Azim shares that as a member of society, he too felt responsible for the bullet that took the life of his son. Even more stunning, he then reached out to Tony’s grandfather, Ples Felix, who had custody of Tony at the time of the murder, with a hand of compassion and forgiveness. Together the two men from two completely different backgrounds founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation that is helping to bring attention to teen violence worldwide and is teaching peace and forgiveness as a means to conflict resolution. Azim has spoken with Tony on multiple occasions and upon his release from prison, Tony will have a job awaiting him at the Foundation.

Azim was able to forgive Tony in order to move through the grieving process and ultimately find joy again. He states: “Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. If I did not forgive Tony I would be very angry at him and if I am angry who does it hurt? Myself.”

How does forgiveness relate to high performance business leadership?

How does this connect to your daily professional activities? We rarely speak about forgiveness in an organizational or professional context. However, to understand effective high performing leadership you have to be cognizant of the many people in organizations suffering emotional pain inflicted by others for whatever reasons and to various degrees. There are many types of losses of trust in which people do not let go, but rather hold onto resentment. How do you deal with unwarranted criticism and backstabbing attempts on the job? How do you overcome betrayal, jealousy, rejection, disrespect, disappointments and the long list of possible negative work-related experiences.

In addition, how do you deal with disappointments and letdowns in your personal life? As work and home are interconnected, it should come as no surprise that most individuals satisfied in their personal life perform better on the job. On the other hand, major upheaval in one’s personal life often leads to a sense of dissatisfaction and underperformance at work.

Effective leaders must be at peace with themselves and the events in their life past and present. Everyone, especially leaders, must make attachments, create bonds and go through separations and grief to recovery and return to the full joy of work and of life. You can deny it or you can deal with it. There are eight stages of grief: denial; protest and anger; sadness, missing or longing; fear about what will happen next; mental and emotional acceptance; forming new attachments or renewing a bond; forgiveness; and finally finding full gratitude and joy again.

Of these eight, forgiveness can be one of the hardest and at the same time the deepest healing experiences. Forgiveness means to literally be able to give again. In other words, it means that we use our energy to be able to “give for” and to go back out to others. People who are not able to forgive tend to become victims or persecutors. They are unhappy, cynical, negative, over defensive and they suffer. In effect they become “hostages” or “take others hostage”. The victim and the victim-turned persecutor tend not to be able to experience real joy, genuine love or full gratitude. If you look at the cycle of grieving, you will see that forgiveness is the fundamental stage to experience gratitude and the joy of life again.

If Azim could forgive someone for the murder of his only son, surely all of us too can work towards resolving conflicts and overcome adversities to unleash in ourselves the energy and power to lead more effectively. As a result of his actions, Azim has been recognized with a number of prominent awards, including The Search for Common Ground International Award (acknowledged alongside Desmond Tutu and Ted Koppel) and the National Crime Victims Special Community Service Award presented by former US President Bill Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno. Perhaps you may never gain such high-profile recognition but surely, like Azim, you can use the power of forgiveness to reach new heights as a leader and at the same time be a model for others to learn this very important emotional intelligence skill for themselves.

HOW TO BECOME A GREAT HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGER

You can be a great human resources manager with the right direction and a few years of experience. However, other things that will help you in your career include harnessing your creativity and practicing your communication skills, among other things. For more information, read on for tips on how to become a great human resources manager.

Instructions

1.      Get your degree. A bachelor's degree is required, but a graduate degree will put you a couple of steps ahead of the competition. If you cannot manage to get the advanced degree now, make sure to start night or online classes as soon as possible, and check on any tuition reimbursement programs offered by your current employer.

2.      Gain some experience as a supervisor. Even a small management role in retail is valuable to a future HR executive. It would be difficult to give valuable advice and guidance to managers if you have never dealt with performance problems yourself.

3.      Be as creative as your existing job allows. If you are lucky enough to get a job in an HR department, develop ideas around new incentive programs or employee wellness or benefit plans that will enrich the workforce and increase the bottom line.

4.      Practice your communications skills frequently. You need to be comfortable giving presentations and handling employee discord to be an effective HR person. Practice does make the difference.

5.      Hone your writing skills. Writing is half the job. You will often be asked to write memos, employee communications, policies and announcements for the management team. The more opportunities you have to do this early in your career the better. Take writing courses if needed to practice your language skills.

6.      Uphold your reputation. Image is everything. People watch what HR managers are doing all the time. Practice impeccable work habits on the job. Never talk bad about anyone in the workplace and dress like you really believe in yourself. Others will see you as a solid leader and contributor.

7.      Be willing to take calculated risks. HR management is an important function in any company. Often you will be negotiating with unions or groups and your persuasiveness and sales talents are needed to be fully effective. Sales work early in your career is also valuable.

8.      Maintain professionalism. You should understand that you cannot be friends with your subordinates. You will need to keep secrets and do some of the things everyone hates to do, like terminating employees. People will sometimes hate you and all that you stand for. If you cannot deal with this hard truth, find a different career.