YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
--- James Allen

You and your buddy down the street have gone to all the same seminars, taken the same business management programs, learned the same techniques and formulae for success. Yet, his business is going like a Carnival Cruise liner full of MTV Spring Break revelers and yours is going ‘Titanic.’

Most times, the difference isn't in the procedures, but in the person performing them.

Your friend down the street already knows the secret to practice and personal success. What’s your buddy's secret? Is he smarter than you? Is he a better person than you? Did he go to a better school than you? Most likely not—he’s just learned how to harness his personal power to allow him to become the successful, self-empowered person he is. He’s learned how to create his own breakthroughs, to allow him to move beyond his fears and limiting beliefs. He is accomplishing goals and realizing his true desires, turning dreams into reality, creating fulfilling relationships, and modeling the strategies of peak performers to produce a quantum difference in his life.

“Just what does it take to get ahead these days? Why can’t I get motivated? Why aren’t my personal life and career turning out the way I want?”

So, what gives? Who succeeds and why? What does it take to become the best version of yourself possible? Is it the quality of the school you attended? Is it that grade you got on your licensing exam? The number of letters after your name? Sometimes.

Many of us know stories about people who were at the top of their class, yet, somehow, never achieved success. In other instances, there are those who got mediocre grades, or didn’t go to the top schools, who become leaders in their chosen fields. It got me thinking:

While, arguably, some people experience a better all around educational experience, the bottom line is, YOU are ultimately responsible for your success or failure, both in business and in real life. It’s all about what YOU create. That’s why there is a discrepancy between being at the top of your class and your level of success /failure/mediocrity in the real world!

Many times, we may find ourselves on the wrong road in life’s journey and not know how we got there. We may have no clue as to how to get the things we want and need for a fulfilling life. We feel stuck.

What if you could create the life style you’ve always dreamed of? What if you could do it in a low stress environment? What if you could find the perfect balance between your personal and professional life?

What would your life look like if there were no rules and you couldn’t fail?

The way that you interpret your life experience creates your identity.

“It's been said, all is an illusion. That's an insufficient distinction; more accurately, it's all a perception. “
--- Eldon Taylor

From the time you were born, you’ve received both positive and negative messages from your surroundings. Throughout my life, my mother told a story about how, once in high school she had to stand up in class to talk, she opened her mouth and nothing came out. For years I had an unfounded fear of speaking in public because my subconscious mind would run that tape.

Mom’s words had become my reality.

All those messages, indelibly programmed into your subconscious combine to create your belief system. They become the filters through which we create our reality…our self-image, acting on them as if they’re true. While they don’t change the world around us, they filter our life experience until we believe them to be true.

You become the person you think you are. If you think you’re someone who will never amount to anything… guess what? You’re right.

If you think the economy is bad and that your business will not do well, time and time again we will miss or dismiss opportunities presented to us.

These beliefs and how we respond to them become our “head space!”

It’s All In Your Head!

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
--- Mahatma Gandhi

What exactly is head space? Head space is that place in your mind where your thoughts, (both positive and negative) and judgments about yourself and your environment, combine to create your reality.

These perceptions of life, whether true or false, make you the person you believe you are. Your identity and quality of life are based largely on those perceptions. They give you your identity…. They make you who you think you are! We then act like the person our perceptions have created.

So, are we doomed by our perceptions of the past? Can we never get out of our negative head space? Of course we can! But takes work. You can improve your head space and improve the quality of your life. If you believe you are a person who cannot succeed, then success will evade you. You will subconsciously create failure as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are a person who can succeed, then you will act accordingly! Again, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Headspace...It’s all about improving your ‘self’ concept

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."
--- Norman Vincent Peale

Your mind is the ultimate frontier…your potential is probably yet unrealized. Improving your head space involves redefining yourself by reprogramming that wonderful computer between your ears. Reprogramming allows you to move forward toward the growth you need to best accomplish your personal and professional goals! It is about you taking responsibility for your life. Learning how to refine and redesign your head space is essential.

HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

You can be successful and have your dreams come true. This is just a start. Have faith. Faith is key to durable success.

·         Figure out what you want to do. If you REALLY want to do it. Then, the questioning part begins: Am I really talented? This question is really important because you don't want to waste your energy on something where you're just not talented. Then ask the others about their opinion. However, you've got to be careful about this one, because there are many people who are just envious and won't tell you if you are good or not.

·         Now think about HOW you are going to achieve this. Do you have to study? Which university is best for it? For you? Which key qualifications do you need? Gather all the information you can.

·         Know what makes successful people successful? Their willpower, their confidence and their optimism. If someone tells you differently, he or she lies. A successful person will never give up as easily. An example needed? Walt Disney! At first, nobody liked his idea, but he did believe in himself and went to Hollywood. He continued improving and working on his idea. And it worked! There's also the boss of Red Bull who wasn't successful at first. But with his ambition and his willpower, he got everything he wanted. What you can learn from this? If you know-deep down there-that you WANT to do this and that you are talented, it doesn't matter what the others say. Keep on working, which brings me to the next point:

·         Work hard! Even if you have to work ten hours a day, do not get lazy. Everything in life has its prize. You have to be willing to pay it. The work really does pay off. Later, it makes you even prouder because you can say:"It didn't just come to me. I actually worked hard and see where it got me!"

·         Fight for your goals. Lack of money? Then DO something! There's always a solution, as long as you keep looking for it...There are many celebrities, writers, singers and actors who were poor at first. But they worked their way up. They didn't just isolate themselves from the others and be like:" If I should become an actor one day, it will come!" Yeah, it's true that sometimes destiny IS generous, but do not rely on that...If you have the problem that your parents say "no" to your dream, don't be mad at them. Try to talk with them sensibly. Mostly, parents just want the best for you, and if you say: "Mom, Dad, I want to be a musician!" it's logical that they're concerned. They fear that you will have a bad life, not enough money and stuff. But if you are well-informed and show them your plans, they'll see that you actually MEAN it and that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions. If they still say no, just do it. After all, you live just once. And you are not, I repeat, not, their painting book which they can fill in with their favourite colors!

·         If you did all this, it's a great way to move forwards towards your goals. However, a good education and some certificates won't hurt. For example, if you want to be a dancer and you break your leg and the doctor tells you: "Sorry, but you'll never be able to dance again!"...It's always good to have a back-up.

Now go your way, be confident, ambitious hard-working, optimistic and you'll get everything you want. You want to grab the stars? Before you know it, you'll be one yourself if you are willing to give things up for your goals. Above all, remember, believing is achieving!

SELF CONFIDENCE IS MOST IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS

The most important thing to protect is confidence and belief in self. It is the foundation of all personal success. You can achieve anything when you believe in yourself. But you will fail when you doubt yourself. The feeling of confidence is a positive state of vibration where your subconscious mind is directed towards the success of a thing. It is when you are single minded and fully aligned with the realization of your goal. Your confidence is your personal magnetic field that attracts that which you desire to you.

It is a fallacy to think that you lose nothing when you attempt something and fail at it. The lack of understanding about the psychology of life is the reason why people stay failures while finding it harder to succeed. It may seem that there is very little external loss, but the loss is great when it is internal loss. It is imperative to consider how a situation might affect how you feel if it doesn’t go well for you before you endeavor to engage it. Watch for how it affects your internal world more than your external reality.

When you increase in confidence, you increase in success. When you increase in success, you increase in confidence. Create positive reinforcement instead of negative reinforcement. Focus more on doing things that get your positive results and less on doing things that keep making you disappointed. Choose to engage in situations that you’re more likely to win than lose. Successful businesses grow from strength to strength. Each positive experience is a positive reinforcement that increases your power.

HOW TO OVERCOME A DIVORCE

For most people it is always very hard to deal with divorce. No one enters a marriage believing that it will end some day, however almost 50 per cent of all marriages do end in divorce. Feelings, such an anger, sadness, depression, helplessness, loneliness, and guilt are common for divorcing people. 

When everything in a life has been turned upside down, figuring out how to handle divorce is one of the tougher things that one can possibly encounter. It does not only mean that people have to deal with the end of a relationship, but they also have to figure out how to share and split everything, who will have to move out, and many other unpleasant things. 

Divorce is a type of loss for many people, and a tough transition. It takes a lot of time and energy to adjust or heal. Particularly, during the first year after divorce, people usually have a hard time re-establishing their lifestyle as singles again. They may feel hopeless and try to isolate themselves from other people. Some feel shame thinking that they will be criticized and judged by others, some feel abandoned and miserable, blaming self or other part for causing the divorce. Yet, there are some things that a person can try to do in order to make the process of divorce and recovery go as smooth as it possibly can. 

First of all, after a divorce, it is important to take oneself together and take charge of your own life. Never see yourself as a victim. Recognize that it is a person himself who is responsible for his own fate. Yes, life circumstances might be painful, and sometimes it is really almost impossible to see things in an optimistic way, but it is still up to you only how you will go forward. It is up to you only to establish whether you will learn from your life failures, or whether you will be broken by them. 

Another important thing to do in dealing with a divorce is to never put yourself down, let bygones be bygones, just understand that whatever was done will never be undone. While moving forward, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. Try to focus on the things that you can do, even the minor ones. Remember that every new day is one more day that you are further in the healing process, and another sign that you are learning how to handle the divorce.

Planning for the future is also one of the most important components of the recovery process. Having something to do, or a plan in mind is necessary for you to keep moving on. As long as you calm down, make up your mind, set your goal and try your best to overcome all the hardships, you will be in significantly better position to succeed. There might be financial problems or problems in making decisions about what to do. Finding resources and support from others is helpful to set your plan and eliminate some barriers.

Surround yourself with things that make you feel comfortable, as well as with some new ones that have nothing to do with your past married life. Get out of the house from time to time. Isolation only leads deeper into depression. Spend more time with friends and try to keep your life at ease. Look for activities that you may enjoy and participate in them on a regular basis. 

Do not forget to laugh. It is helpful to be around people with good sense of humor which will make you laugh and, therefore, forget at least for some time about all the difficulties in your life. Try to look at your life in a positive way, rather than whining and crying over something that has to be considered as past. Also, stay as active as possible by keeping a regular exercise routine. Nothing helps our emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It will help in relieving tense, anger and anxiety.

If you have children, don't use them as leverage in a divorce struggle between you and your ex. The split affects them, but it should not involve them. Make sure that you are being a good parent by taking care of your children, and by make sure that your children understand that, no matter what happens, you love them and have their best interests at heart.

Avoid destructive activities, such as alcohol or drugs, when trying to deal with your problem. Don't allow your problems and feelings to cause you to seek revenge, or play the victim. If you are stressed, hurt or angry, it is best to find a safe shoulder to vent to and get those feelings out.

When you are living through a highly stressful situation no hasty decisions or changes to your life should be made until you have thought of all the following consequences. Take time to think things through and thoroughly weigh all your options. And what is most important, do not blame anyone, forgive yourself and your spouse and don't let the issues from this marriage follow you into new life and new relationships. The road to a complete recovery after divorce is a long one, however, by dealing with your divorce, you may finally find yourself in a much better place.

The above are just some suggestions, however, everyone has their own different ways to handle a divorce. Adjusting to divorce is a process that takes time, so allow yourself time to heal and remember to focus on one day at a time. Only you are the one who knows which best fits your needs.

8 WAYS TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND FIND DIRECTION IN LIFE

Do you know exactly what you want out of life? What drives you? What motivates you always, no matter what? If you don't, I have compiled a list of ideas to help. These are my tips for finding direction in your life and understanding yourself  better!

1.  Keep a journal.
Write down your thoughts, ideas and experiences into a journal. Your journal is a summary of the things that go through your mind and your experiences in life. Write sincerely and remember that nobody besides you will read it.

 You don't have to write daily or make any sort of a set schedule for writing in the journal. You can just write whenever you feel like it and have time. Don't force yourself to write, let the habit develop naturally. 

 Going over your journal and analyzing it helps you make new realizations about yourself and your life.

2.  Pursue new hobbies.
You may discover a new passion, or just have a good time exploring new activities. Trying something new will give you new insight into yourself and your talents. Challenge yourself!

3.  Break your routine.
If you find yourself doing the same things over and over again, switch it up. Do something spontaneous. Breaking out of your comfort zone and giving yourself more freedom to do as you please will open your mind and help you get more in touch with what makes you happy.

4.  Listen to others.
Sometimes a different perspective can help you discover new sides of yourself. Take careful note of what the people close to you say, there can be truth there that you have hidden from yourself. Everybody sees the world differently and feedback from others can help you see what you would've otherwise missed. An outside perspective can be just what you need to figure things out.

5.  Get creative.
Pursue whatever creative activity you enjoy, or try a new one! Using your imagination will uncover your innermost emotions that are currently hidden in your subconscious mind.

6.  Analyze your goals.
Contemplate the reasons for why you have chosen the specific goals that you currently have in your life. Think about the underlying motivations behind them and whether you could be happy going in an alternative direction instead.

If you find that you struggle to find motivation in your life right now and are confused, re-evaluating what you truly want will help.

7.  Analyze your social circle and relationships.
Contemplate the people in your life and the roles that they play. Who you choose to surround yourself with, and why, gives you insight into who you are.

Think about the relationships in your life - if there are some that are causing you stress, are these people making an effort to make things better? If not, it could be better to distance yourself from those people causing you stress. It's always beneficial to spend more time with people who bring positivity into your life and as little time as possible with those who don't.
 
8.  Bring new people into your life.
Make an effort to meet new people. Diversify your social circle. Every new person offers a new unique perspective and new experiences that help you further understand yourself. This is crucial if you don't feel heard and supported by the people currently in your life. Seek out positive, like-minded people who will support you and inspire you.