BUILDING BRIDGES

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work," he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. 

That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all - and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."

DEALING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESSES AND DEPRESSION

For millions of people, chronic illnesses and depression are facts of life. A chronic illness is a condition that lasts for a very long time and usually cannot be cured completely, although some illnesses can be controlled or managed through lifestyle (diet and exercise) and certain medications. Examples of chronic illnesses include diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, kidney disease, HIV/AIDS, lupus, and multiple sclerosis.

Many people with these illnesses become depressed. In fact, depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness. It's estimated that up to one-third of people with a serious medical condition have symptoms of depression.

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It's not hard to see the cause and effect relationship between chronic illness and depression. Serious illness can cause tremendous life changes and limit your mobility and independence.  A chronic illness can make it impossible to do the things you enjoy, and it can eat away at your self-confidence and a sense of hope in the future. No surprise, then, that people with chronic illness often feel despair and sadness. In some cases, the physical effects of the condition itself or the side effects of medication lead to depression, too.

What Chronic Conditions Trigger Depression?

Although any illness can trigger depressed feelings, the risk of chronic illness and depression gets higher with the severity of the illness and the level of life disruption it causes. The risk of depression is generally 10-25% for women and 5-12% for men. However, people with a chronic illness face a much higher risk -- between 25-33%. Risk is especially high in someone who has a history of depression.

Depression caused by chronic disease often makes the condition worse, especially if the illness causes pain and fatigue or it limits a person's ability to interact with others. Depression can intensify pain, as well as fatigue and sluggishness. The combination of chronic illness and depression might lead you to isolate yourself, which is likely to make the depression even worse.

Research on chronic illnesses and depression indicates that depression rates are high among patients with chronic conditions:

• Heart attack: 40%-65% experience depression
• Coronary artery disease (without heart attack): 18%-20% experience depression
• Parkinson's disease: 40% experience depression
• Multiple sclerosis: 40% experience depression
• Stroke: 10%-27% experience depression
• Cancer: 25% experience depression
• Diabetes: 25% experience depression
• Chronic pain syndrome:  30%-54% experience depression

Symptoms of Depression

People with a chronic illness as well as their family members often overlook the symptoms of depression. They assume that feeling sad is normal for someone struggling with disease. Symptoms of depression are also often masked by other medical problems. The symptoms get treated, but not the underlying depression. When you have both a chronic illness and depression, you need to treat both at the same time

HOW TO AVOID BEING TALKATIVE

 Being talkative is a real issue that can often bring down social relationships. Whether you're talkative because you always have a story to tell, to having a psychological fear of rejection, here's how to avoid being talkative.

Avoid personal references - "I", "me", "my", and personal experiences are usually boring to overs and can keep you going for a long time. This is a craving that can turn into a bad habit, which is hard to take down. Only (occasionally) throw in short stories that pertain to the topic at hand.

• If you do tell a story, make sure it's funny. If a person is bored or has no reaction to the story, they (honestly) probably think the words were wasted time and/or space.
• People subconsciously love to talk about themselves. The less you do it, the less you'll want to do it. Talk about others instead.

Ask questions and find out information. If you do bring something up about yourself, ask a question or find information from the other person(s) do it doesn't seem like a waste of time. You may also be approached with something that seems boring to you, which will make you want to ask questions less.

• For the final sentence, you might think this will make you just talk about yourself and not ask others. Instead, pair questions and taking interest in others with talking. Make it your goal to talk with people and not at them.

Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how you would feel talking to yourself. If you're bored, annoyed, bothered, tired, or out of interest, take this into consideration. You'll know what you need to fix and/or work on. If others have admitted to feeling bored or careless but you see nothing wrong, you may be (slightly) self-absorbed and should see a therapist or guidance counselor.

Get an opinion. Grab one or some very close friends and ask them honestly if you're too talkative. Tell them you want 100% truth on their opinion and that you can definitely handle anything they have to say. Tell them you're doing it not for personal benefit, but for their benefit too, so they don't have to deal with these issues and even help you fix them.

There are simple rules that you should keep in mind before and when speaking. It's a basically a guide to when to keep your mouth shut. Remember to stop speaking if the following happens:-

• If they're not paying attention or talking to someone else
• If the story is a long one and nobody asked to hear it
• If you got the story from the internet
• If you're talking about your dreams or work
• The person seems bored or uninterested
• The person is looking at their phone, tablet, or computer
• The person is working
• You're talking too fast
• You're the only one laughing

HOW TO TRY YOUR BEST AT ANYTHING

 Sports. School. Business. Maybe even less quantifiable things like art and relationships. In any activity where people can be compared to one another on a measurable scale, it can be said that certain people are "better" at those things than other people. Everyone has the chance to become good at something, maybe even the Best. This article will show you how to become the best at anything.

Plan out your goal. What do you want to achieve? Knowing what you want to do will help get you started.

Get involved. Have a special interest? Join a club that includes people that have similar skills. This could be anything. The choices of what you can get involved in are infinite.

Practice. This is the key to success. If you want to become better at anything, you can't expect to get there if you don't try. Practice as much as you can, and at any opportunity. Practice makes perfect.

Develop different skills - academic, physical and other (it could be anything from speaking German to chess). For example, if you want to develop skills in academics, you could concentrate harder in school, read more, spend long hours studying, etc.

Don't try to be the best at everything; just be the best at everything you do.

Remember, at the end of the day, just have fun. Enjoy each moment you have doing your interest.

Tips

·         Picture yourself in your dream goal and act as if you are there. Visualize as much as you can.

·         Never stop trying to reach your goal.

·         Find out more about the skill you want to be best at. Knowledge is power.

·         Ask questions. Ask people who have more experience, you will find out a lot more.

·         Self confidence and practice are important keys to success.