“There are only two mistakes one can
make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” ~Buddha
A decade or so ago, when I was
twenty, I was supposed to settle into an “arranged marriage,” a common concept
in India. I would never have known what it means to be financially independent,
to go after my passions, and to be true to myself.
Until then, I had only wished to have
a career—to go to a big city, live independently, and explore my identity. But
those were merely daydreams. I had accepted that in my community, girls are
married off after graduation, and whatever they want to make of their lives, they
do it after marriage.
Though I had accepted that reality, I
wasn’t at peace with it. I still dreamed of pursuing higher studies in a field
that was my passion and forte: Mass Communication. The institute I aspired to
attend would take no more than forty students per subject and no less than the
crème de la crème of the country.
It was only prudent that I brush the
dream under the carpet, because, even if I tried, it seemed unlikely. Also, I
didn’t have any time to prepare for an exam like this, which was a month away,
and I couldn’t take the exam the following year. My family wouldn’t wait “that
long” to see me married.
I realized this might have been my
only chance to shape my life as I visualized it. I had a month to prepare for
this high-profile exam. Those thirty days could determine the next thirty years
of my life.
I wondered, “What would happen if I
put every single grain of my brain, my heart, my soul, my blood, and my bones
into this one dream?” And then I found out!
My fears gave way to determination, a
sense of purpose replaced my complacency, and my day dreams faded as I adopted
a “now or never” sense of urgency.
Today, I am so proud of myself that I
dared to make that attempt, against all odds. I did not resign to my fate, and
as a result, I made it into the top forty league of students at my dream
school, where I pursued my passion. Those thirty days changed my life forever.
Since then, I’ve worked for top notch
corporations, I’ve started my own enterprise, and I’ve left it all behind to
home-school my daughter. Every time I decided to make a fresh start, I
initially felt terrified, but then conquered my fears to be true to myself.
Being Aware
It’s crucial to be aware of exactly
what you want and don’t want. By this, I mean being so connected with your
mind, heart, and soul that you need no external stimuli to understand your heart’s calling.
It means to know what you ache for and choose not
to do the things that drain your spirit.
Awareness does not come easy. But
being aware and then making a start is equally difficult. Making a start and
going all the way—that’s mammoth!
I’ve made numerous starts in my time,
and I have confronted and overcome some major hurdles. If you can identify your
hurdles early on, it will be much easier to get started.
Here are some of the hurdles you may
come up against:
1. Lack of drive
The drive to pursue your heart’s
longing will emerge only when you recognize and accept that you’re not
passionate about what you’re currently doing.
When you stop being complacent and
acknowledge that your life that doesn’t excite you, you will feel an
overwhelming need to take that first step toward your dreams.
Do you enjoy how you spend your time
and feel like you’re making the impact you want to make?
2. Risk of failure
Enormous, long-term goals with
micro-level planning may sound like they will cover the risk for you. But, in
my experience, they do just the opposite. They can create a terror in your
heart even before you make the start. They may even be so overwhelming that they prevent you
from beginning.
It’s not prudent to get caught up in
long-term plans at any stage of your project or
entrepreneurial journey. A better approach is to focus on the small steps that
connect you to your passion and conviction.
The Agile methodology suggests
designing short-term goals to arrive at the long-term mission. It recommends
working toward a two-week or a three-week goal and assessing what you’ve
achieved frequently.
This helps you respond to
change quickly and efficiently and
allows you to create value at greater speed and frequent intervals. When you’re
creating value every week, every day, no matter how small it is— rather than
achieving something tangible an year down the line—you will be firing
motivation on all cylinders.
You won’t have to worry about failing
at something huge because you will experience small successes at every step of
the way.
3. Lack of clarity
Often we have clear dreams but hazy
thinking on how to convert those dreams into reality. We get so busy with our
day-to-day living that we don’t make the time to think about what steps we need
to take.
Until you create the time to think
about what you want and need to do, you will keep spinning in circles within
your head, waiting for the day when you suddenly feel enlightened or prepared.
Buddha said, “We become what we
think.”
Only when we are thinking consciously
will our thoughts carry the power to execute.
4. The need to do things perfectly
The perfect time, the perfect method,
the perfect idea—these are all illusions that keep us distancing from our
dreams. They may be excuses for procrastinating things years away: “When the
kids grow up…” “When I get my next promotion…” “When I have more money…”
Or they may be excuses to put things
off by a few weeks or months: “When my child’s summer vacation is over…” “When
I finish this project…”
Oftentimes, these are lies we tell
ourselves to avoid taking the plunge. There is no such thing as a perfect idea
or a perfect method. Many ideas can be effective if we back them with a sense
of purpose and then learn and
adjust as we go.
5. Fears about letting go
Maybe you’ve devoted years to
training in your field and building a career only to realize you’re not
passionate about your work. This can make it challenging to let go and walk
away. After all, you’ve already spent a good part of your life pursuing your profession,
increasing your earning potential, and making a name for yourself.
You might feel highly resistant to
abandoning that profession and pursuing something else. You may also think it’s
tantamount to accepting and declaring that your work and life this far were a
waste.
The only thing that’s wasteful is
denying what you really want.
Living your life on your terms starts
with living consciously and courageously and being true to yourself. It may
mean letting go of the things you have amassed and unlearning all that you have
learned until now; it may mean fighting a lone battle; it may even mean holding
on to your belief in the face of reproach, disapproval, and discouragement. But
it’s worth doing.
So, go ahead and crush the fears,
demolish the doubts, overpower the naysayers, and take that one leap of faith
to be who you want to be—no matter what your age, gender, culture, or
boundaries.
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