A POOR BUT RICH FAMILY

When I was in the Final Year of my Graduation Studies, we visited one of our friend's home for a lunch. I had no idea about where he lived, I mean, how it could it be?! I just knew that he took the bus from his home to our college.

The moment we reached his house, I found the staircases of his building were not so good nor was his home painted very well. I can't describe in words but it was not even the type of house in which a typical middle class Indian family lives in.

One of the greatest things I did find there were loving parents. We sat on the ground for the lunch because they didn't have a dining table. His mother served us very delicious food, smiling throughout and showed care for the entire lunch session; that I can never forget.

His father worked as a normal mechanic and I wondered if he earned enough money to support their 2 sons.

While we were taking lunch, his father returned home to meet with us. When he entered their home, his hands were dark black and his clothes were very dirty. I remember our friend had no hesitation about his father and made our introductions. I think it is rarely what we see in today's generation. How loving this family was!

Now, I am telling you the remarkable moment of the story. As soon as his father came in, after just 4-5 minutes, our friend asked us if we wanted "Papad" ( A Typical Indian Food ) to eat. Before we could say anything, our friend's mother said there were no "Papad" in the house.

Quickly, our friend asked his father if he could get some. Very gently and kindly his father brought it for us, after going through many staircases even though he was looking tired.

Don't you think of this as Richness of a Poor Family? I think all readers would agree with me.

The story doesn't end here... the interesting part still continues.

Today, our friend is a Team Lead in one of the leading MNC(s) that is Oracle. He is able to pay high rent in Hyderabad and have a new, beautiful home. Not only that, he helped his brother financially in his studies and is still helping.

So, friends, what can we figure out from this story?
The moral I understand is this:

"The amount of money you make won't win others' hearts; the only way is with love and kindness. The second point is that struggle and bad periods are needed in life for everyone, as it makes us strong. If you have strong willpower, goals and also the attitude of hard and smart work, you can definitely be a successful person in some areas of life, if I am not wrong. God always helps."

Some moments you always cherish in life.

I am planning to ask our friend for one more lunch or dinner at his home when comes back to our hometown. And I always tell him and remind him of one of the most remarkable days of my life, the day I had lunch with him and his parents.

Copyright © 2010 Keyur Shukla

APPRECIATION

This is a powerful message for our modern society. We seem to have lost our bearing and our sense of direction.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview. The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"

The youth answered, "None."

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"

The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees."

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"

The youth answered, "My mother worked as laundry woman."

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange. Happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the young man.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said:

1. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, there would not have been the successful me today.
2. By working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
3. I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationships.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."

Later on, this young person worked very hard and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

Something to think about:

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, will develop an "entitlement mentality" and will always put himself first. He will be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he will assume that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he will never know the sufferings of his employees and will always blame others.

For this kind of a person, who may be good academically and maybe successful for a while, eventually he will not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?

You can let your children live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important things are that your children learn how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn how to work with others to get things done.

ARE YOU A GOOD DECISION MAKER?

Life holds for each one of us different situations where we are required to make decisions. The world is what it is today because of decisions both good and bad. History has been studded with shining examples of good decisions and marred by instances of untoward decisions.

At a personal level our life is what our decisions have made it; a mother decides how she is going to provide nutrition for her baby, a father decides how he is going to provide healthy environment for his child. Every day we are given a myriad of situations where we have to decide - right from the route we are going to take to our workplace to how we carry ourselves through the day.

Now, since making decisions is of such high importance, we would do well to think a little about making decisions. What will our answer be when we are posed with this question:

'Are you a good decision maker?'

What would we say?

Would we say we are good at it or not so good at making them?

Each one of us is called to make decisions that will make a lasting positive change in our lives. Sometimes there will be situations where we need to make some firm decisions. Sometimes we will be required to make fast decisions. Other times we are given the privilege to take our time or consult others before deciding.

It matters a lot for each one of us to make the right decisions. 'It is in moments of decisions that your destiny is shaped', said Tony Robbins.

For example, how does a man decide when his family is tearing apart? Is he deciding based on impulses and fear or is he deciding based on morals and long-sightedness? 

Similarly how a woman decides, in times of professional turmoil, as these are days when women play very positive roles in a professional environment as much as they do in family.

How does a student decide when he is faced with his graduation exams?

Can you add your own question – 'How do I decide... ?'

There are a few things that deter anyone from making standing, concrete decisions. These are obstacles seen or unforeseen... real or imagined... perceived or implied. Now it would do all of us immense benefit to meditate a little on some of the misconceptions or obstacles, if we can call them those.

1.      Cowardice: Many a times, most of us fail to make some strong decisions because we feel we might end up in a wrong place or have to face unpleasant circumstances. Cowardice is a strong word... let us brace ourselves up; it is cowardice that prevents us from making decisions at times. Let us be bold in making decisions. Remember someone said, 'Boldness has the power to drive a revolution'.

2.      Fear: Do you think, 'What if I fail?' Never consult your fears. Come on, if you know that what you have decided is truly right morally, spiritually and socially then go ahead with it for as Emerson said, 'Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen'.

3.      Opinions: This is certainly one of the areas that tends to affect almost every person. 'What will my wife think of me?'... 'What impression will it create with my peers?'... 'How would this change the way people look at me?'

These are some questions that run in our minds, many times, as we bolster ourselves to make decisions. It would be wise to remind ourselves of what someone said, 'Every man is a fool in some man's opinion'. So take heart my pal, you are certainly going to get some shaky bumps when you make decisions but let that not deter you. You know what you are deciding more than the one who opines on you.

4.      Self esteem: Many suffer from the woe called inferiority complex. This tends to affect their decisions. They shy away from and shun decisions in life. Their life lies at the mercy of others. Each one of us is endowed with the natural uniqueness that adds to the flavor of the world. Remember, you who are reading this sentence are unique. As the Bible says in the book of Psalms, 'You are... wonderfully made'.

5.      Belief: Lack of belief and faith in what we decide can prove unpleasant. It is not rare to find people who find it difficult to believe in what they choose to decide. They shift from one leg to another while making decisions. They fail to believe that life will be good and that they will see good results of their decisions etc.

If you are planning to plunge yourself into a creative effort, please go ahead with belief that it will all be well at the end. It would be worth printing out and hanging on our walls what William James, one of the great thinkers of this world said: 'Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that assures the successful outcome any venture.'

6.      Guilt: There are many who are tormented by their past. Instances of past mistakes weaken them. It is true that guilt has a way of shrinking a man to a level of lower capacity than what he actually is. No human is immune to mistakes. We all make them. Remember the time when you took your first steps as you tried walking when you were an infant, ha ha ha!!! Tony Robbins observed, 'Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant'. Courageous men use their past mistakes as a springboard.

The above observations, though not extensive, give an idea of how we can harness the power of decision making in our lives toward better, happier, meaningful personalities. Let us therefore strive to make decisions based upon strong, concrete and positive basements.

Let us live our lives better and make a better tomorrow.

No... a better Today! Amen!

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

TIPS FOR BETTER TIME MANAGEMENT

 TIME IS MONEY

Everyday has just 24 hours - and this applies to all people. Some people are constantly pursuit and pushed by time. This article is about how we can learn to manage our valuable time more effectively.

In reality we cannot manage time, we can only manage ourselves and our relationship with time. After all, how we use (or utilize) our time is largely a matter of habit. And habits are not that easy to change.

To organize and manage our time - and generally our life- we need to clarify what are our objectives, this means we need to identify what to organize and make sure we know where we want to be and be ready to accept the possible 'cost'. In order for us to be able to change how we operate, we first need to 'consider' and understand how we use our time now.

How do you usually spend your time:

• Interruptions from others (telephone calls - visits)
• Doing work that should be assigned to others
• Indecision
• Lack of adequate information about what you have undertaken to do
• Unclear priorities
• Lack of planning
• Stress and tiredness
• Inability to say «no»
• Lack of organization in your surroundings, and that also disrupt you
• Lack of flexibility - very tight, rigid and unrealistic planning, etc. are some factors that have the ability to swallow your time!

In addition, disorganization and misuse of our time is supported and maintained by the following perceptions:

• 'Leave it for one more day', never mind we will do everything tomorrow
• I perform better under pressure
• Others are delayed, why not me?
• I cannot start something if I do not know exactly how to finish it
• I cannot be under pressure, I want to be free
• I cannot deny to others my help
• Better to do everything myself, I have to be in control
• I do not have time to deal with the organization and management of my time

The «chaos» and the disruption may mean lack of motivation or even avoid lack of accountability.

In these cases the problem is not as «obvious» as one - small or large-difficulty in organizing and managing time, so you may need to locate and review your perceptions about the responsibilities, incentives and priorities and wonder who is the one who «loses» besides you by this attitude.

If you are resisting the idea of time management because you prefer to be more free and spontaneous, it might help to think that the effort is not aimed at making us 'slaves' to one more schedule, but rather to liberate us from stress and inconvenience created from the bad management of our time.

Below there are 16 tips that can help you manage your time better. Do not forget that you can also join life coaching courses that can also help you manage your life better, not only in terms of time management.

What you can do to manage your time better?

The skills needed for time management are planning, organization, self-control and delegation (delegating responsibilities to others). In that respect the following 16 tips can be useful:

1. Log your activities

Keep a weekly log of activities in which you will record for 2 -3 weeks everything you do per hour when you're awake, how much time you allocated for everyone, how much time you did nothing special or important, how much time you rest, sleep etc.

2. Clear out what are your obligations

Locate the points on which you could make some changes and clear out which of these are actually your obligations and responsibilities or if they are obligations you undertook without having enough time either by habit or because you did not say no.

3. Indentify your deadlines

Record in an initial list what you should do and when it must be completed, divide the activities per day / week and long-term goals, to get a clear picture of what you have to do and when.

4. Do you forget personal and social activities

The activities and objectives should not only include professional activities or other obligations, but also personal and social activities, so your program should cover all your needs.

5. Organize your goals

Organize your goals based on two criteria: degree of urgency and importance:

a) Should be done today - tomorrow, etc.,
b) Should be done at 'that date'. Set a date,
c) Can postpone it for so many days,
d) Can ask someone else to do it

Start from the most important and urgent

6. Delegation

When you delegate something to someone else, you need to decide what is it, who is best qualified to undertake it, what information you would pass, but mainly you have to undertake the responsibility together and accept the fact that it will not be executed as exactly you would have done it.

7. Identify your priorities

Locate deadlines, expire items, etc. These should be in the top of your list!

8. Clean up your list

Make a list of everything you think that they are not helping / benefiting you and do not do them!

9. Focus

Concentrate only on one goal at a time. Otherwise, if while dealing with something you think everything you can do after (tomorrow, the rest of week, next month, the rest of your life…), most likely you will get bored and disappointed. It is like every time you eat you think all meals you must eat in your life! The boredness is guaranteed only with the thought!

10. Work environment

Create a suitable environment to work, one that fits your way.

11. Be realistic

Make sure that your objectives are realistic and do not try for the impossible.

12. Plan for the unpredictable

Include in your programme (schedule) unpredictable items and situations (e.g. problems with the computer): allow an extra time gap to adjust your program if necessary.

13. Motivate your self

Do not let boredom to discourage you if what you have to complete is boring, find motivation: consider the advantages when you finish, like the feeling of satisfaction, relief and freedom that will get when you complete this obligation, and that you can have your self under control! Do not underestimate the boring obligations (eg home cleaning and other tasks related to running your home). When neglected they tend to become a mountain!

14. Say "NO"

Learn to say «no» in other activities, requests, people who eat (utilize) your time (unless indeed that very moment is necessary for your to help them). Turn off your phone and lock the door, to avoid unnecessary interruptions from others.

15. Utilize your capabilities

Use your biological rhythms to guide you: locate and utilize the hours of the day you're most active and fruitful.

16. Compromise

Give yourself the right and excuse that in some days you may not be productive. If nothing else, you will have the change to be more productive in other days!

Time management is a skill that needs time to know, master and begin to work! Ultimately, time management will give you the extra time you need to be able to enjoy what is most important for you!

 

 

 

HOW TO IMPROVE PUBLIC SPEAKING

Would you rather die than give a eulogy? You're not alone. Public speaking is rated as the number one fear by over 40 percent of people in the world. Calm your nerves and capture the attention of your audience by following these effective tips and tricks.

27 Tips, Tricks, and Tutorials

1. Know your audience and occasion: Long before you set foot on the stage, lay the groundwork for your speech. The first step is to learn something about the audience that you will face. Prepare an address that is understood and appreciated by those listening. Consider the occasion: should you be casual or serious? 

2. Choose the right topic: Pick something you are comfortable with. If you have to speak on an unfamiliar subject, do your homework and research it thoroughly. You'll want to be informed and able to answer questions from the audience. 

3. Don’t memorize: Being familiar with your speech is a necessity, but memorizing or reading from written material is not. It’s easy to lose your place and very difficult to get back on track after a lapse. Instead, concentrate on modulating your tone and voice to the response of your audience.

4. Personalize your speech: Pepper your material with small personal anecdotes or other stories that will hold the attention of the audience. Everyone loves a good story. Most people will relate and respond better to your speech when you combine the facts with a collection of interesting tales and examples.

5. Practice 'til you’re perfect: Practice at home in front of a mirror. Record and time yourself: do whatever it takes to become comfortable with what you have to say. Fine-tune your mannerisms and body language. Repeated trials will help make you less nervous on stage.

6. Stick to time limits: Nothing is worse than having to stop your speech short. Make allowances for occurrences such as audience interaction or technical difficulties. If you find yourself running late, know beforehand what you can afford to omit. In case you run short, be prepared with additional material that goes with the flow of your speech.

7. Relax before you get on stage: It’s easier said than done, but make an attempt to relax before  your speech. Practice breathing techniques and think positive thoughts.

8. Rely on mnemonics: Instead of keeping your whole speech on the podium with you, make a list of points that will remind you of each subject that you plan to cover. Your list should consist of one or two-word phrases that jog your memory for each part of your speech. This method is more visually appealing than rifling through sheets of paper.

9. Make a strong start: Start off on the right foot with your very first words and you’ll find that it’s easy to hold on to your audience’s attention for the rest of the speech. Raise your listeners’ curiosity, provoke their interests, even be a little controversial. Do whatever it takes to grab their attention from the beginning.

10. Watch your body language: It’s what you don’t say that tells the most about you. The way you stand and what you do with your hands can give away more than you care to reveal. Nervousness is easily read if you fidget or avoid eye contact.

11. Maintain eye contact: Look at your audience, not through or beyond them when you talk. If you’re nervous, focus on a friendly face for a while. Move on to others once you’re comfortable. Remember that all eyes are on you, so return that contact with as many people as you can.

12. Pace yourself: Speak slowly and steadily so that you are understood. When speech is hurried, there is a tendency to scramble words and overlap one with the next. Speed does not bode well here: your audience will sense that you’re nervous and trying to get the speech over with.

13. Interact with the audience: The best way to get your audience involved in your speech is to interact with them. Ask them questions and invite them to ask some of you. Make them feel they’re a part of your address.

14. Be prepared for the audience: An interactive audience is great, but be prepared for what they will ask of you. Anticipate common questions and have answers ready. If you’re caught off guard, try to answer confidently with the best of your ability. It’s not wise to bluff, however. Know when to refer to someone with more knowledge than yourself.

15. Don’t lecture: Talk, don’t instruct. Use language that the audience will understand instead of trying to sound important with jargon and fancy words.

16. Don’t waste time arguing: If there’s a troublemaker in the crowd who’s bent on arguing with you, don’t get sucked in. Arguing with one individual to make a point is a waste of time. The others in the audience will become restless and your speech will lose its effectiveness. Ask the troublemaker for a discussion after the speech is over.

17. Use peripherals effectively: PowerPoint presentations and other visual effects should augment your words, not overpower them. A speech that relies completely on visual aids turns attention away from the speaker and reduces the impact of the spoken word. Use them for technical details or things you cannot explain easily with words.

18. Keep it short: You want your speech to wow your audience, not have them checking the time. Gauge their reaction: if they’re restless, wind it up.

19. Don’t apologize for mistakes: It’s alright to slip up or mispronounce a few words. Pick up promptly after such lapses and continue with your speech without further distracting the audience. A quick “sorry” or "excuse me" will suffice.

20. A few moments of silence is not a crime: You don’t have to fill every second with words. It’s acceptable to pause and gather your thoughts or sip water before you resume speaking.

21. Don’t shout: Make sure that you are audible to the farthest person in the room, but don't hurt your audience's ears. If it’s a large hall, you’re sure to be provided with a microphone. Speak softly and clearly, taking into account the echo characteristics of the hall. If possible, test your voice before your audience gets in so you can see how it carries.

22. Work on your tone and delivery: The key to a powerful speech lies in the modulation of your voice. Know when to raise and lower your tone as well as which words to stress. Your energy is infectious and your audience will react to it. Use the tone of your voice to grab their attention and hold it.

23. Regain attention midway: Murmurs in the audience and members talking amongst themselves are signs that your speech is lagging. Be flexible enough to throw in an attention-grabbing story or joke.

24. Focus on your positives: Don’t attempt to be a master at public speaking. Concentrate on your strengths and divert attention away from your negatives. If comedy is your strong point, play it up. If body language is your weakness, stay behind the podium and use the power of your voice to captivate your audience.

25. Finish well: Work on a good closing; a perfect finish should not be abrupt or leave the audience wondering if there’s more to come. Try to end on a high note so that the crowd will remember you long after the room is empty.

26. Look good: Dressing well gives you an added dose of confidence. When you know you look good, you feel as if you can take on the world. You don’t have to wear expensive clothes or a designer outfit; it’s enough to dress neatly and feel comfortable.

27. Get more exposure: The best way to get over your fear of public speaking is to get more exposure. Every mistake makes you realize your weak points and helps you avoid them for next time. Remember, practice makes perfect.